


Goodbye

by Redandblackassassin



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Thor is a good brother, complete angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-05-15 15:29:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19298554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redandblackassassin/pseuds/Redandblackassassin
Summary: The final moments in which Loki and Stephen say goodbye.





	1. Chapter 1

“No. Y-you can’t. Stephen Strange I won’t let you die,” Loki breathed. He didn't even know how this had happened. The battle was under control, everything had been fine until he saw Stephen fall. His pale hands were coated in blood, Stephen’s blood, as they were pressed against his torso. The sorcerer groaned quietly, looking up at the sky with glassy eyes as Loki tried desperately to fix the deep wound that was spilling out the sorcerer’s life source.

It wasn’t working.

Somehow, for some stupid fucking reason that Loki couldn’t understand, Stephen’s magic was blocking Loki’s from healing. Was merely pushing Loki’s seidr away.

“Stephen, open up your mind. Let me in,” Loki begged, the panic growing in his voice with the amount of blood being lost.

“ _Stephen_ ," he repeated. He couldn't lose the sorcerer, not now when they had so much to go through together. So many dates. 

“I can’t. Let me go,” Stephen breathed, the pain evident in his voice, in the way he took shallow breaths, in the blood that trickled out of his mouth and out his nose. He couldn’t lose Stephen so easily. Loki shook his head, staying silent as he threw more of his siedr into Stephen’s torso. In response, the sorcerer’s magic threw it back, making Loki’s body buzz.

“No. I can’t let you go,” He said, a mere whisper for only them to hear. In the past few months he had grown to love Stephen, had found himself being able to stay on Earth for him. He refused to say goodbye now, to just let Stephen die so brutally and in pain. One of Stephen’s hands reached over and laid on Loki’s bloody ones.

“Let me go,” he repeated.

Was it possible to hear Loki’s heart break?

 

* * *

~ _Months before~_

 

Loki stood at the window of the Sanctum, watching the busy mortals rush through the streets of New York. The green cloak he wore fanned to the side as he turned, looking at the Sorcerer Supreme as the Cloak of Levitation, Levi, flew him up the stairs.

“Lazy,” Loki breathed smoothly, standing in front of the Doctor when he landed. He chuckled, grinning in a way that made Loki’s stomach flutter.

“I didn’t think you’d be back so soon,” he said, by way of greeting.

Loki shrugged. “I have no reason to stay away from you, darling doctor.”

“Good.”

Stephen stepped closer, just as Loki did, and their lips met.

“I missed you,” the sorcerer murmured, wrapping his arms around the god’s waist.

“Likewise, Strange,” Loki replied when he pulled back, smiling faintly at the doctor. Unable to resist, Stephen kissed him again.

 

 

Hours later, Loki found himself on Stephen's bed in the sanctum. It was kinda small so they had to tangle their legs, but still, it was comfy. Loki couldn't ever complain when it got him closer to the sorcerer. Surprisingly, they were still dressed. Well, Loki had stolen one of Stephen's jumpers and tracksuit bottoms, for laying down in his armour wasn't the most comfortable experience. 

They were watching something on what Stephen had called 'Netflix,' but were too distracted with each other's lips.

"Remind me to never watch TV with you again," Stephen teased, running a hand up Loki's waist. The god hummed in response, only pulling away so he could lay his head on Stephen's chest.

They actually watched the show for a while, the silence being broken by Stephen. 

"I love you, you know," he murmured, nosing Loki's curly locks. The god smiled, gazing up at the sorcerer.

"I know. Why wouldn't you? I'm amazing," Loki cooed.

" _Loki."_

He snorted, reaching up to kiss Stephen's lips.

"And you know that I love you, Strange. Now and forever," Loki murmured. He wasn't sure where that came from, but they had stuck with it. A habit that made Loki both cringe and fall deeper in love with Stephen Strange. He relished in the fact that they had so much time together.

"Now and forever."

 

* * *

 

 

“Let me go.”

Stephen’s voice brought Loki back to the painful present. He realised that it was useless. That his magic wouldn’t work on Stephen. He couldn’t be healed. So much for now and forever.

“I can’t,” Loki breathed, his voice broken. But he knew he had to. Loki swallowed the lump in his throat, then crossed his legs as he sat properly beside Stephen. Softly, he stroked hair from the sorcerer's eyes with a bloody hand, like Stephen had done months ago.

“I love you,” Loki murmured, “I always will.” Even in his extended life, he’d remember the mortal with the blue eyes, scarred hands and loving heart. Reluctantly, he took his hand other away from Stephen’s torso, instead lacing their fingers. Stephen groaned quietly in pain, a muscle flickering in his jaw. 

“I love you, too,” were the sorcerer’s last words before his life began to slip away. Tears slid down Loki’s cheeks. 

His chest ached as he watched the Stephen Strange take his last painful breath, his lips going slack. The hand holding Loki's was now loose. He knew that the sorcerer was no longer in pain, but the selfish part of him just wanted him back. It was the hardest thing he'd ever had to witness. With a choked sob, Loki reached forward with shaky hands and closed Stephen’s eyes for the last time. Never again would he wake to those pale blue iris’ gazing at him. He wouldn’t ever see Stephen’s crooked smile, wouldn’t ever hear him laugh. It broke him in ways he didn’t think it ever would. He leaned down, not caring who saw as he kissed Stephen’s lips for the last time. They were cold, too cold. Not the warm lips he had kissed before.

He cursed himself for falling in love with a mortal who’s life was always in danger...but he couldn’t bring himself to regret any of the time they had shared. Instead, he would treasure every moment that he did have. _Now and forever._

He just wished that the time would have been longer.

Loki Laufeyson buried his head against Stephen's chest and sobbed, not realising that the Cloak of Levitation had draped over his shoulders. 

 

Later, when strong arms gripped Loki's shoulder, he woke up, finding that the sun was setting behind the trees ahead. The agonising realisation kicked in as he sleepily gazed at Stephen's body. He had wished that it was all a dream, that he'd wake in Stephen's bed and they could live their lives together again. 

"Loki, come on," Thor said, gently trying to ease Loki up. At first he refused, clinging onto Stephen's body as the tears began again. When Thor managed to haul Loki’s cold body up, his younger brother immediately collapsed in his arms; something he'd never done before. When was the last time he saw Loki cry? He hadn’t ever seen his baby brother like this before— so heartbroken and upset over another person. 

"I love him," Loki sobbed, clinging onto his brother. The Cloak of Levitation was now over Stephen’s body, as if to protect him. Too late, Loki thought bitterly. 

"I know. He loves you too," Thor breathed reassuring Loki as he embraced him tight.

As if he could hug the pieces of Loki's shattered heart back together.

 


	2. Alone Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final goodbye.

Months ago, Loki would have never been able to imagine himself standing in front of the coffin of Stephen Strange, had never wanted such a thing to ever happen despite how inevitable it was. He hadn’t wanted it to come so soon. 

For some unknown reason, they had kept the coffin open. Stephen was in a suit, those white stands of his hair neatly slicked at either side of his head. He looked so normal, as if he would just hop out of that coffin and complain about all the fussing. It made Loki’s heart physically ache. Perhaps getting used to Stephen owning his heart was a bad thing, but he couldn't bring himself to regret it. All he regretted was that they hadn't gotten enough time together. 

Before he could walk over to the coffin people began to fill the room, wearing suits and dark dresses...but with one item of clothing being a deep red. For the Cloak, who had clung into Loki’s shoulders ever since Stephen had died two days ago. For two damn days Loki had laid in bed, the Cloak wrapped around him or drifting around the room, seeming...lost without their owner. Sympathy cards had been slipped under the door, but other than two people, nobody had tried to come and see Loki. They'd fail anyways. Loki and Stephen had been pretty secretive with their relationship. Well, that was until they had seen Loki sobbing over Stephen's dead body.  _Then_ they had connected the dots. From that moment on Loki didn't care who knew, didn't care if anyone saw him show any emotion.

Strong arms wrapped around Loki’s shoulders, making him flinch.

“Thor,” he murmured quietly, his voice cracking. Thor had been more supportive and was the person out of two who Loki allowed in his room, the other being Brunhilde. It was Thor who tried to coax him into speaking, or eating and drinking enough, but it was Valkyrie who merely sat with him in silence. He'd remembered feeling her pain when he had gone through her mind, making her go through the trauma of losing her lover.

It had felt pretty similar to this, which made Loki wonder how she had survived this many years with such heartbreak. How would he survive?

The memories assaulted him anytime he let his mind wander. The blood. The pain in Stephen's eyes. Saying goodbye for the last time. 

_I love him._

_I know. He loves you too._

“Loki,” Thor replied, giving his shoulder a squeeze before he lead them to the seats in the front row. He caught the eyes of few of the Avengers, including Tony Stark, as he walked, eventually sitting down next to Valkyrie. She was in a dark suit, but the lapels of the blazer were a crimson red. 

Only when he looked ahead of him did he realise he was sitting right in front of the smiling picture of Stephen Vincent Strange, looking wholly healthy and happy and  _alive._  

Great.  

He watched as a minister walked up to the front of the room, taking his place to the side of the dark coffin. He shuffled around some papers, setting them in front of him on the wooden podium before clearing his throat and speaking. Loki didn't want to hear. He already knew that Stephen had been a good man. 

"Today we are gathered to commemorate the life of Stephen Vincent Strange, The recent Sorcerer Supreme who sadly passed in the battle with-"

Loki immediately zoned out, staring ahead of him. It was hard to think or speak or do  _anything_ recently with Stephen gone. He had lost one of the main reasons he stayed here on Earth in the first place.

When he thought about it, Thanos had taken everything from him. 

His sanity, any chances he had of being welcomed back home in Asgard after the incident with New York...and now the one mortal who he ever truly cared about. All gone because of Thanos.

It made him feel sick to his stomach when he thought of how his life could have been without The Mad Titan. What if he hadn't fallen from the Bifrost but remained in Asgard? Would he have even met Stephen Strange?

All the thoughts rolled in his mind, merely causing a deeper hole into the depression he had been flung into the moment Stephen stopped breathing. Only when he calmed down from the moment of panic did he notice a hand had slid into his, holding tight.

"It's okay, Lackey," Valkyrie murmured, giving his hand another squeeze. 

"Hardly," Loki replied, not even bothered to hide the bitterness in his voice. 

She sighed, staying silent.

"You're not alone," were her final words before both of them resided into silence. 

 

* * *

 

 

"By the Norns, you're giving me motion sickness from just watching you," Loki murmured, gazing up at Stephen as he paced the room. They were in the living room of the Sanctum, dressed in full armour and fabrics, waiting for the signal that Thanos had arrived. For months on end they had been preparing for this, had expected the Mad Titan to come to Earth. He was looking for the stones, two of which were in the hands of Stephen and Loki. 

"Sorry," Stephen said, too distracted to sound very sorry.

At that Loki stood, the emerald cloak fanning around him as he walked over to Stephen. "You know that it'll be okay," Loki said quietly, gripping onto Stephen's scarred hands. They shook, but Loki couldn't tell if it were the chronic pain or fear. The other sorcerer stopped pacing as he gazed down at the god. Pale blue eyes met emerald.

"It will," he replied, then pulled a hand away to cup Loki's chin. They shared a kiss, filled with a softness that almost made them forget about what was to happen.

"What did I do to deserve that?" Loki murmured, giving him a playful smile. 

Stephen shrugged, reaching up to cup Loki's face properly. The god scowled, but it didn't stop Stephen from stroking his flushed cheeks. He looked down at the god thoughtfully, memorising his face. 

"I love you."

"Steph-"

"I  _love_ you. If something happens-"

Loki furrowed his dark brows as he looked up at his lover, pulling Stephen's hands from his face so he could hold onto them. " _No._ Nothing is going to happen. We will be fine," He said, hiding any fear in his expression. Secretly...he was terrified. Thanos would hunt both Stephen and himself down, for they were the ones with the Space and Time stone. 

"But I love you too, second-rate." He kissed Stephen again hard, only pulling away to press their foreheads together. The Sorcerer Supreme had remained silent the whole time, as if there was something he wasn't telling Loki. He hadn't been this quiet in a long while, making worry wrap around Loki's heart.

"We will be fine," he eventually murmured, and that's when Bruce Banner burst into the Sanctum.

Thanos had arrived.

 

* * *

 

 

Afterwards, Loki stood at the back of the room, watching people stand over the coffin as they said their final goodbyes. He recognised most of them, mainly the Avengers and some students from the Kamar Taj. It felt wrong to have Stephen not here, as if he was just going to sneak up on Loki and scare him.

Loki would hit him for doing that...but he'd also give him a kiss and  _beg_ him to never leave him alone again.

But he didn't. Stephen remained in that stupid fucking box.

Only when everyone left the room did Loki gingerly walk up to the coffin, wanting one last moment before he'd be buried and his beautiful face would never be seen again. It  _ached_ to know that Stephen knew that he was going to die, yet couldn't tell anyone. He died protecting Wanda Maximoff, Loki found out, who had given Thanos the final blow.

If Wanda had died...the chances of them winning would have been very slim. The only peace in his heart was that Stephen didn't die alone. That he  _knew_ Loki loved him. Now and forever.

He now understood Stephen's affections in the sanctum, before they left for the battle. It all made sense. Loki hated that it did, hated this world and Wanda Maximoff and Thanos and everyone that was in love with someone who was alive. 

But he didn't. Not really. 

Gently, Loki reached down and brushed his hand over Stephen's cold cheek. Even colder than his own Jotun skin. 

"Goodbye, my love," he murmured, kissing the sorcerer's forehead before he simply turned around and walked away, choking back his tears.

 

 

He didn't want to be alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final part of this short fanfic. Thank you for reading, I apologise for the feels!
> 
> \- Nat

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't a clue where the angst came from, and I cried writing this whilst listening to sad songs. Not sure if I'll continue this, or maybe I'll write the funeral. Apologies!  
> -Nat


End file.
